Ah Ji: The country is ruined; there is poverty, there is unemployment, and it is a case of “running ahead while leaving the back behind.” There is an emphasis on foreign visits and mediation. The country’s disputes and internal quarrels are increasing. There is no hope. Everywhere there is only “Ah, Ah.”

Wah Ji: Bravo, bravo! The fame of our “honour” is spread in all four directions. The American President is beating the drums of our bravery everywhere, and even our eternal enemy, Iran, is our friend. Such successes have not been achieved by anyone in 75 years. Wah Ji, wah! Bravo!

Ah Ji: What is the use of empty, hollow honour? “No money, not even a penny, yet she is making a great show.” Honour comes with money; otherwise, has a poor and naked person ever been considered honourable?

Wah Ji: The Ganges does not flow backwards. It is the principle of the world that first honour is received, and then money comes automatically. We have received honour; now money will also come. A defence agreement has already been concluded with Saudi Arabia, and talks are also underway with America. Pakistan’s circumstances will soon change.

Ah Ji: For three years we have been hearing the good news that dollars are coming, but not even a single dollar has arrived. Claims were being made of hundreds of billions of dollars, while barely two or four billion have been received. “A shop selling fritters, but talk of millions.”

Wah Ji: If a blindfold is placed over the eyes, it cannot be opened. Pakistan is being praised throughout the world, and you are making your sour “Ah, Ah.” Pakistan was in a corner of isolation in the eyes of the world. After the Afghan war, the world would not even ask about us. But victory in the Pakistan-India war and mediation between Iran and America have put us on the central stage and pushed India and Modi to the sidelines. Nothing like this has ever happened in history. Wah Ji, wah! Beat the drums, play the sweets, and dance.

Ah Ji: I admit that I am a pessimist, but I am also a realist. You are accustomed to dancing over false hopes and building palaces inside dreams. By all means, celebrate your happiness, but at least tell me: from which country are you going to ask for the next instalment of the foreign loan? Saying “wah wah” does not change the world. Doing something changes destiny, while you are sitting with your hands folded, hoping that you will receive a loan from one country or another.

Wah Ji: Modi is going to be booed out in India. Children held demonstrations and got the education minister removed. Pakistan is an organised state; India can neither fight a war nor stop demonstrations within its own country. So what if our economic problem is bad? At least our reputation is not bad like Modi’s. I have heard that an Arab country wants to give us $50 billion, but some foreign conspirators are creating obstacles in its way. Otherwise, all our hardships would disappear.

Ah Ji: Wah Ji, come into the world of reality. Leave these imaginary things now. This world is based on interests. Reputation and honour cannot take the place of bread. Sheikh Chilli’s boasts cannot fill the stomachs of the poor.

Wah Ji: The veil is actually over your eyes. Either you have an inferiority complex and cannot digest the greatness of the country, or political prejudice and spite have blinded you. Now Pakistan and Kuwait have also concluded a defence agreement. Money is about to rain down. Pakistan has, for the first time, become the most important player in the Middle East. Wah Ji, wah! What diplomacy! And wah Ji, wah! How beautifully even a small, irrelevant country has, through mediation, established its position throughout the world. Blind people! Open your eyes and see where Pakistan stands today and where they took Pakistan when the previous government was in power. Wah, what a wonderful thing!

Ah Ji: You are a flatterer; saying “wah wah” and bringing ruin has become your habit. Come to your senses. Speak with reason and argument. For two years, promises and beautiful dreams have been shown. There is a great clamour about friendship with America and friendship with Trump, but no institutional agreement has been made, nor has any concession been obtained on exports. We have not even received F-16s, although Pakistan’s money is already deposited in America. Nor have we received any new helicopters that could attack the BLA, Taliban and ISIS terrorists. Neither have we received new thermal guns, nor the latest weapons and technology with which the enemy could be accurately targeted and killed.

Wah Ji: This is the height of pessimism. I do not know what world you people live in. During the previous governments, it was difficult even to meet the American Secretary of State. And when Prime Minister Imran met Trump, it was said that a feat like the 1992 World Cup had been accomplished. And now the situation is that the American President and the American Secretary of State are spoken to almost every day. Where was that despair, and where are today’s diplomatic victories! The real thing is access and reach. The wheat was sown, and now it has ripened; only the harvest remains to be cut. Wait a little, and then you will see prosperity.

Ah Ji: Wah wah, it has become very grand, but talk about something useful too. What has Pakistan received so far? If IMF loans were not available, the country would have defaulted today. If the money deposited by Saudi Arabia and China in the State Bank were withdrawn, the country would become bankrupt, chaos would spread, and there would be a food shortage. Talk about statistics. Look at the accounts and calculations. Empty words alone will not get the job done.

Wah Ji: Hatred really affects the eyes, ears and mouth altogether. Those who are blind despite having healthy eyes, deaf despite having ears, and who speak words of despair despite having mouths are suffering from a psychological illness. Pakistan’s doors have opened to the world. Possibilities that were previously locked are now open. Now it is only a matter of the hammer striking the right place. Pakistan will move towards prosperity at rocket speed. Just watch: if “Shehbaz Speed” keeps receiving the seasoning of the establishment’s speed, Pakistan will begin to take flight.

Ah Ji: Your leader Shehbaz Sharif has so far presented 17 national and provincial budgets. In other words, for 17 years he has at times been the master of the province and at times of the whole country, with control over everything, good and bad. Yet in these past 17 years he has not brought even the slightest change. What revolution will he bring in the little time that remains for him now? These are people of the status quo. Only those who say “wah wah” can expect any major change from them.

Wah Ji: It is because of “Shehbaz Speed” that he was made Prime Minister. Whether it is the Daanish Schools or the network of underpasses, these are his achievements. When the dengue epidemic came, it was Shehbaz who would get up before dawn and pursue this epidemic so relentlessly that he finally drove it away. To this day, no Prime Minister like him has come. There is complete harmony between the army and the government; otherwise, there was always a dispute over civil-military relations. For the first time, the political and military leadership have the same thinking for the country’s development, honour and prosperity; that is why there is mutual unity between them.

Ah Ji: Oh, come on! Don’t tell stories! When has Shehbaz Sharif ever been able to make a decision? Sometimes he looks towards Raiwind and sometimes towards Rawalpindi. Since he did not receive the mandate, there is no blessing in his government either. The fate of such a government has already been written. It will carry failure in its destiny and leave.

Wah Ji: It is useless to explain anything to someone whose mind is closed. Nothing can be done for you. Arguing and engaging in dialogue with you is pointless. The disappointed and prejudiced fall into the pit, and then no one even pulls them out. This is your fate; now suffer it…!