The late Ashfaq Ahmed, in an interview published with me in Jang Magazine, said something very interesting:

“A chili, despite its sourness and bitterness, gives taste.”

If one reflects upon this, a new world of meaning begins to unfold. Scratching a wound causes pain yet it also brings relief. The pleasure of scratching is such that sometimes a person even becomes injured, but the pleasure surpasses the pain. Tears flow in sorrow and agony, yet when they fall, they bring spiritual peace.

Many Christians, in remembrance of the sufferings of Jesus (peace be upon him), cut themselves with knives or lash themselves with whips and through this, they purify their souls. Sometimes a man, even while living in prison, is happier than free men because he remains firm upon his principles. Gandhi, Azad, and Hasrat Mohani believed in this very philosophy. Shorish Kashmiri, Nawabzada Nasrullah Khan, and Ataullah Shah Bukhari used to consider prison as their in-laws’ home, and happily enjoyed that pain.

Sometimes one faces a situation where even without wanting to one is forced into conflict; where, even without any mistake, one is punished; where, despite committing no sin, one is made a sinner. And as the great philosopher and playwright William Shakespeare said, one becomes “more sinned against than sinning.”

At such times, when punishment exceeds the crime, silence becomes a crime. Therefore, one must speak.

The Latin term “Persona Non Grata” meaning “an undesirable person” is these days being applied to this humble and insignificant self.

In London, there was a convention of the Pakistan Overseas Foundation. Prime Minister Shahbaz Sharif was the chief guest. After much deliberation and back-and-forth, I was sent an invitation. But then, the loyalists who are “more royal than the king” sent a message:

“Kindly do not attend; your presence at this gathering is prohibited.”

As if the doors of information and access were shut upon me.

This humble being strongly protests this unfair treatment and reserves the right to demand an apology from those responsible.

In today’s world, freedom of expression has led even Nobel Prize winners like Bertrand Russell (1872–1970) and Julian Assange (1971–) to be declared Persona Non Grata undesirable persons.

How vast the distance between those great names and this humble flatterer’s name! Why do they insist on wrapping me in a lion’s skin just to hunt me down? Who is this conspirator trying to turn this zero into an enforced hero? It is he who must be found the one who wishes to atone my sins and carve a halo on my forehead.

I wrote a column upon which Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaf (PTI) first hurled curses, and then ISPR issued a clarification. In response, this humble man wrote a counter-reply, and in my opinion, the matter was amicably resolved.

But again, those “more loyal than the king” declared me a rebel and a rejected soul.

I am not among those who wish for conflict or confrontation with institutions. Nor am I one of those who run campaigns against the interests of my motherland. I am not one of those who, during the “space flights,” secured jobs in TV channels who leaked false reports and confidential news from astronauts to defame politicians and journalists.

This humble man climbed every step of journalism through years of hard work. I have always maintained balance and moderation. I have expressed disagreement but never crossed the boundary of respect.

I have jested about politicians but never fabricated false scandals nor discussed them baselessly.

Many tried to provoke me from here and there. One advised me:

“Do not return to your homeland you will be arrested right from the airport.”

But what had I done?
Fearful and hesitant, I returned to Pakistan yet no one laid a hand on me, nor did anyone question me.

Some said,

“Now there is no forgiveness for you.”

But this humble soul has faith and pride in the soil of his land that it will never declare one of its own inhabitants undesirable.

For this humble man has always remained loyal not to the mighty, but to the ordinary people. I have never mixed information with falsehood. Difference of opinion is a blessing but if even for that one is made Persona Non Grata, then this timid man will accept that punishment as provision for the Hereafter.

I am fully confident that Prime Minister Shahbaz Sharif gave no such instruction regarding me. I know him; therefore, I do not expect such a thing from him.

But to stop me, his name was misused and it was said,

“He will be displeased upon seeing this humble and dark-faced man.”

This order was issued by an official of a security agency. Those who had sent the invitation denied even knowing this wretch.

If they had even a single rib of conscience or principle, they would have admitted that after sending an invitation and a special request for participation, such a denial would be most improper.

Do not provoke the mystics.
Do not lay traps for those sitting quietly in corners eating curd.

Why does some conspirator want to lift this insignificant man upon a pole only to throw him down again?

If you strike at the humble, the dust of the striker himself will rise.

In the conflict between the powerful and the powerless, the powerful may win but the sigh of the weak shatters the intoxication of victory.

When the weak possess nothing else, they can still throw sand into the eyes.

And even if a writer is defenseless and poor he still has a reservoir of words ready at all times.

Why do they want to start a purposeless fight? Who stands to gain from this game?

Nowadays, social media and YouTubers are masters of making mountains out of molehills.

A matter is small as small as a mustard seed yet they stretch it until it becomes an artificial mountain.

The tragedy is that the ruling classes believe in the false mountain instead of the real mustard seed and then they begin refuting a falsehood that never existed in the first place.

If a mustard seed were understood, written, and read as a mustard seed the media would become easier to digest and tolerate.

A social media campaign rises like a storm and then settles like filth and waste.

After a week, no one even remembers the mountain but the one who becomes the target of that campaign, his cries of pain continue for long. The smoke from his fire does not fade quickly.

My own matter, too, should be left as a mustard seed. Whoever tries to make a mountain of it will face:

“They dug a mountain, and out came a mouse.”

In London’s atmosphere, seeing countrymen fighting amongst themselves brings great sorrow.

Political, religious, and personal differences have torn Pakistanis apart.

The only path to ending these layered divisions is mutual communication and then dialogue.

If we wish to solve problems, this is the only way.

On the other hand, those opposing the government should also confine their actions to the realm of politics.

To turn against one’s own homeland may be an emotional reaction but going to such extremes harms both them and their political party, while the nation’s loss is even greater.

As for declaring me an undesirable person Baba Zaheer Kashmiri comes to mind.

He spent most of his evenings in Lahore Press Club. Remembering him, I end my story with his verse:

“We know that we are the lamp of the last night —
After us, there will not be darkness, but light.”